Graylan writes:
Hey Emily, I just found a page of harem quotes from last september when a couple of us went to Chris's beach house. I thought they had been lost forever, but alas they are here and they are funny! Think you could post them since I have no clue what my uid/password are?

Sure thing, Graylan!
--
Christine: "The pizza tastes like ass!"
Jana: "Oh, I hate ass."

Jana: "Sleep isn't boring."
Shane: "Yes, it is, it puts you to sleep."

Christine: "You elbowed me in the boob!"
Graylan: "No, you boobed me in the elbow."

Jana: "Annabing, I'm gonna be just as cute as you in a couple of seconds."
Anna: "Why? Are you getting naked?"

I just created some new T-shirts because of an idea I had the other day. Now, Cafe Press won't let you have more than one design on the same item (i.e., regular white T-shirt), so these are all different prices, which is lame, but anyway, I present you with the Picky Pizza Brigade:

No Olives
No Onions
No Mushrooms
Just Cheese

Now you can let the world know which popular pizza topping really fuels your ire... and be fashionable at the same time!

Hiya, Harem!

This site is basically archival, anyway, but I decided to take advantage of Blogger's new shit to fix broken things like templates that were fucked up and commenting that was fucked up. I don't think the comments work on the old posts unless maybe I go back and edit them... but anyway, here is some commenting once more, at least for this entry.

Much love.

It's just that we're all too busy to amuse each other lately, Josie. Sad but true.

However, there are two quotes that have been lingering on the white board for a month now; might as well post 'em.

"The best part about working with Alzheimers' patients is that they can hide their own Easter eggs." --Rachel, my friend since fifth grade who loves old folks

"Ass has died of dysentary!" --Chris P., mocking the grade-school favorite computer game Oregon Trail

"...So what does the stupid conservative kid do? He goes to the media... goes on Rush Limbaugh who is like, 'Nyeehh, they're certainly not teaching our children to fear God, somehow, or smoke cigars and oppress black people.'" --Chris P. on this story

Making fun of the spangers outside ghetto safeway:
Chris P.: "Would you like to donate a quarter to the Mildly Inconvenienced Uppity Women's Fund?"
Emily: "Sure, that sounds like a worthy cause."
Chris P.: "Would you like to hear our slogan? [In a shrill voice] '...I don't have time for this!'"

I just found this in my notes while reviewing for an exam:

"Are we talking about hitting your brother when you're mad, or throwing kittens off an overpass?" --abnormal child psych prof

Who would even think of that as an example besides someone who's met too many kids with conduct disorder?

This is so dirty...

Em and Chris are discussing a giant poster of a COP that Chris ordered and where to put it.
Graylan: ...Did you say "cock?"
Em: Yeah, we're going to hang up a giant poster of a penis right here [over the dining room couch].
Jesse: Cool, will it be ejaculating?

I am quoting myself here, not because I think my words are so high-larious but because what I saw at the Wallingford QFC was funny and must be shared:

Emily: "Someone with a great sense of irony placed greeting cards and canned cheese in the same aisle here."

Em, to Kevin, in her room: "...So what the fuck do you want to do?!"
Chris P., from his room: "Get drunk and shave peoples' dogs!"
Jen, from her room: "Somebody grew up in Wenatchee."